Marjorie Toilet Greene Token promises...well, frankly, it promises whatever fever dream Greene spewed out that morning. Galactic space lasers as a power source? Check. Stockpiling discount ham as an inflation hedge? You betcha!

This GreeneCoin isn't just a cryptocurrency, it's a monument of narcissism! It's a way to turn a brand of toxic politics into a literal piggy bank. Think about it, folks: investing in GreeneCoin is like giving a loaded megaphone to a toddler throwing a tantrum.